Heidi’s Happiness

Maybe happiness is this: not feeling like you should be elsewhere,
doing something else, being someone else.
Isaac Asimov

I was going through my journal from last year, not really looking for anything in particular, just perusing through the different writings that I had done.

I came across this from October 19, 2016 and wanted to share with you.

Feeling meh, some sadness, depression, aloneness, what other feelings am I having? Numb, anger.

Be okay with being in this “place”.

Apathetic, ashamed of feeling this way. Shouldn’t I feel more at peace, shouldn’t I feel happy? I’m living my life dream, I’m here!! Be content being here, but being content is an area I’m not familiar with-what is this?? I am so used to pushing forward, constantly feeling like I HAVE to be looking for the next step, the next thing. Sitting in this – this content energy – be okay with it – really – you are being taken care of – money is in abundance – all is well.

I find, that when I do go to bed and I wake up in the morning, I don’t wake up like “YES” I am looking forward to today. I thought I would be. I wake up and most of the time I want to sleep until 8:00 or 9:00 am – why is that a bad thing? Is someone telling me that is wrong?? No, it is the pre-determined thinking that I need to get up EARLY to be productive – do I really believe this? Really? I do not – it is a learned behavior – I accomplish all that I need to every day and that is all I need to expect out of myself. Critical – the critical vibration is one that I accepted as a young child – this is a vibration I want to let go of and replace with grace, love and acceptance.

Sit – sit in this space – say good-bye, mourn it, allow it to be and then when you are ready – release – like a balloon – into the sky – say good-bye- feel the lightness – the white light that is in its place – FEEL how much better you feel.

Yes, this is how I journal. I get so much insight and information by writing this way. I believe sometimes it’s Spirit interjecting where I need more insight.

While I was reading this I was reminded of that day. I am so thankful that I allowed myself to just be and accept where I was at. I am in a space now that I do wake up with full on gratitude, excited to see what the day brings, who I get to meet and who I get to share healing with.

How are you doing today? Could you be more accepting of where you are at? Understanding that you are moving into a new vibrational space of where you desire to be? Mourn the old way and be prepared for some beautiful gorgeous vibrational energy that is just waiting to be a part of your entire existence!!

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